Fancy Footwork
Fancy Footwork is the 17th episode of Season 2 of Basket Sponge. It is the 38th overall episode of the series. Plot Squidward discovers he is really good at soccer, and is offered a high-paying job at Bikini Bottom's soccer team. Now he is faced with a serious choice. Story is walking on the way to basketball practice Squidward: (trips over a soccer ball) Whoops! Kid: That's our ball! Kick it to us! Other Kid: Yeah, old man! Squidward: Oh? You wanna see some fancy footwork? Kid: You're too OLD! Other Kid: Yeah, old man! Squidward: Alright, I've got 5 minutes. That's long enough to school you. Kid: I'd like to see you TRY! Other Kid: Yeah, old man! Squidward: (takes the soccer ball, and shows off some extremely impressive moves; he scores several goals on the kids) Kid: Whoa....you're good. Other Kid: Yeah, old man.... Squidward: That's how it's done, ladies. Now if you'll excuse me, I have basketball practice. Kid: Basketball? Pfft! You'd make millions as a soccer player! Squidward: Well, I- Other Kid: Yeah, old man! Squidward: I should really be going. See you kids. he is walking away, he notices a shady man watching him from behind a tree Squidward: Can I help you, sir? ?: The name's Slate. Squidward: ….ok Slate: Those were some pretty impressive moves. Squidward: Well, I got 8 legs...heh-heh. Slate: (hands Squidward a card) Here's my card. I want you on my team. You'll make millions. Squidward: Sir, I- Slate: Give me a call. (vanishes) Squidward: …..(looks at the card) Hmmm..... soon arrives at basketball practice LeBron: Team, I- Squidward: Coach! Just wondering, how come we never get paid? LeBron: #1: This is just for funzies. You're a bunch of suckers. Squidward: ….. LeBron: #2: I don't have any money. SpongeBob: Why not? Krabs: I didn't steal his money! ….heh-heh.....(blushes) LeBron: My wallet went missing.....(glares at Krabs) Krabs: You don't have any evidence! (sprays Larry in the face with pepper spray; rus out of the gm) Larry: GAHHH!!! BARNACLES!!!! Plankton: Tee-hee. Larry: (stomps on Plankton) Plankton: GAHHHH!!!! BARNACLES!!!! Squidward: Well, Coach, if you aren't going to pay me......I have a phone call to make. (leaves the gym) LeBron: …..Squid......Squid Man? SpongeBob: Want me to go talk to him? Larry: Want me to go pound his face? Patrick: Want me to make out with Lexi? Lexi: Want me to make out with Patrick? Patrick & Lexi: …...YES!!!! (they make out) LeBron: Squid needs some time to himself. He'll be back. home, in his bubble bath Squidward: (dials Slate's number) Hello? Is this Slate? Slate: (on the phone) Ahh, Squidward. I see you changed your mind. Squidward: How did you know my name? Slate: I hacked your FishBook account....I mean I saw your.....nametag. Squidward: I don't wear a nametag. Slate: Yes you do......you're just blind. Squidward: Very well then. Slate: So I see you changed you mind. Squidward: I didn't say that! Slate: Well, is there perhaps another reason you called me? Squidward: ….(sigh).....I'll join. Slate: Wonderful! Practice for the Bikini Bottom Fairies begins tomorrow at 7! Squidward: 7 a.m.???? Slate: Yes, Squidward. Squidward: I need mah beauty sleep! Slate: 7 a.m. Period. Squidward: (sigh) Why are we called the “Fairies” anyway? Slate: It's soccer. We're pathetic, wimpy losers who failed at other sports. Squidward: I have a steady position as a basketball player, FYI. Slate: And how much do you make? Squidward: ….. Slate: ZERO, that's correct. Squidward: Fine. Slate: You're gonna love it, Squidward. I'm an amazing coach. Squidward: Oh, I'm sure.... Slate: In fact- Squidward: (drops his phone in the tub) BARNACLES!!!! 7:00 in the morning Slate: Welcome, team. We have a new player with us today. Care to introduce yourself? Squidward: Well, my name is Squidward...... Everyone: ….. Squidward: My nose is shaped like a penis. Slate: Alright, let's begin! begins doing hundreds of situps and pushups Squidward: What are we doing? Slate: Situps and pushups. Get moving! Squidward: But, my coach never makes us do these. Slate: Well I'M your coach, now. And soccer players are the most in-shape athletes in the world! Squidward: Says who? Soccer sucks! Slate: Excuse me? Squidward: You heard me, it SUCKS MONKEY NUGGETS. Everyone: (gasps) Let's get 'em! capture him Squidward: What's going on here? Slate: You insulted soccer! Squidward: So did you! When we were on the phone! Slate: I'm the coach. I can do that. Squidward: It's boring and pointless! I'm only good at it because I have 8 legs! Everyone: (punches him) Squidward: AH!!! Slate: Soccer players are also the cockiest people in the world. Squidward: Idk, Larry's pretty hard to beat... Slate: You will enjoy practice. No matter what. Squidward: Screw everything. When does practice end? Slate: Never. Everyone here is OWNED by me. And plays by force. Squidward: Whaaat? Why? Slate: (points a gun at him) Because nobody likes soccer. Squidward: That's true. of the field, LeBron & friends pull up in a van Larry: What are we doing at a soccer field? Soccer SUCKS!!!! Krabs: Ewwwww, soccer!!!!! Patrick: Soccer sucks!!!!! SpongeBob: Meh, it's okay... Larry: (bites down on SpongeBob's arm) SpongeBob: AHHHH!!! OKAY, SOCCER SUCKS!!! LeBron: Relax, team. We're here to check on Squidy. looks through binoculars Larry: You see anything? LeBron: Holy cheese. Larry: Whaat? LeBron: Nothing, I want some cheese. Larry: Oh. LeBron: Ah, NOW I SEE SOMETHING. Larry: Whaat? LeBron: They've got a gun pointed at him! We're going in! the field Squidward: You'll never take me alive, Slate. Slate: Exactly. Because if you don't cooperate, you'll be killed. Squidward: Oh yeah.......shoulda thought that over. Everyone: Hahaahahahhahahahah (we hate life) hahahahahahahaha. van busts into the scene and runs over Slate's team Slate: AHH! My players! Where am I gonna find anyone else dumb enough to be on a soccer team? Squidward: Well, you do force people. Slate: Any logical person would commit suicide over playing soccer! Squidward: Valid point. LeBron: (jumps out of the van) Give us back our squid! Squidward: (excited) Coach! Slate: Eww, basketball players! LeBron: Don't act like soccer is better! Slate: (starts sobbing) Soccer is absolute garbage! I've wasted my life forcing people to play this ridiculous sport.....(sniff).....I feel so worthless! (sobbing uncontrollably) LeBron: (pats him) There, there. I'll let you join my basketball team. Slate: (sniff) Really? LeBron: Of course, dawg. Slate: Wow....this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. LeBron: Here, let me strap you to this rocket. (straps him to a rocket) Slate: Thanks, but why- LeBron: (presses a button; the rocket launches into outer space, carrying Slate with it) SpongeBob: Haha! Plankton: Woot! Woot! Lexi: It' so romatic. Patrick: Kiss me. (they kiss) Larry: Where's that rocket going to, Coach? LeBron: Another galaxy. An undiscovered galaxy. Larry: Nice! Squidward: Thanks for saving me, Coach! Soccer is the bane of humanity. LeBron: And fish-manity. Or whatever. Squidward: Yeah that. LeBron: Now, let's go to Taco Hell! My treat! SpongeBob: Yaaaaay! Krabs: I thought Taco Hell was destroyed??? LeBron: It was rebuilt. A Mexican dude owns it. You literally thought he couldn't do constuction? Krabs: (sigh) Good point. Category:Episodes Category:Basket Sponge Category:Basket Sponge episodes Category:Doctor Bugs Category:SBCA Category:The Imperial Ghost Category:2015 Category:Transcripts Category:Episode Transcripts